From Wilting Mind to Fragile Memory

In one of my recent posts, I wrote about how I felt at my previous job and why I created “Wilting Mind”.

Many people say that art often comes from pain. The greater the pain, the greater the art presumably. And that you should actually draw on that pain for inspiration.

Over the past four years, I felt like I had low, but chronic gnawing pain of doing work I cared little about. Do you ever feel this way? I felt like after a relatively steep learning curve, I had hit a plateau and there was no more room for growth. While there may always be new things to learn, sometimes we just feel like our hands are tied.

Over a course of four years, I expressed these feelings through my art, starting with the “Stages of Grief” series, though I did not write openly about the source of inspiration. That period culminated in creating “Wilting Mind”, which consists of white translucent beads, symbolizing fatigue and mental atrophy. The bright red flower inside shows a stark contrast of the fire that once burned there, until it was put out.

“Wilting Mind”, 12″ x 12″

After making a conscious decision that there has been enough sulking, I moved on to the “Hope” series. Some of these works also referred to dealing with tough times, but focused on finding the “positive needle in the haystack”. I depicted this “needle” with a single white jewel.

I created “Fragile Memory” with a hidden white gem that I kept deep inside of me to represent my previous experience. To me, it represented a unique part of my life that had a special place in my mind. I made this cell white, so it could be distinguished from all the others.

“Fragile Memory”, 13″ x 13″

As I was straightening out my art table the other day, it suddenly occurred to me that now that I am excited to go to work again, this gem may take on a new meaning. My brain is now bursting with color from all the new ideas and potential directions I could take. And that fragile memory? It is slowly fading in the face of all the new possibilities.